The 5 Key Points to Building Your Self Esteem After a Heart Break
Any type of breakup, especially those which involve longterm meaningful relationships, can be difficult to heal from. It is easy to get your self-worth twisted up in the approval and affection of another person, especially in the case of relationships. These can often be the hardest to recover from because you feel like a sense of your very identity is missing, removed from you along with the person you cared about. As hopeless as you may feel, the good news is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and there are some steps you can take to improve your self-esteem.
1) Recognize That You Are Not Defined by What Others Think
Those who are going through breakups have likely dealt with some negative thoughts about themselves. These might have sprouted from what someone–especially your former partner–have insinuated about you or even said outright. You can’t take these negatives to heart or believe them about yourself, because they are not necessarily true. You never have to believe or accept what others have said about you, especially when you know they are wrong.
2) Take Care of your Physical Needs
You must be loving towards yourself when recovering from a breakup, and this also means attending to your most basic needs. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercise, and maintaining your hygiene are all things that you can control, even when you can’t control certain emotions all the time. Also take some time to pamper yourself by going to the spa or having that bar of chocolate–just don’t be too indulgent. All of these things can help you to look at yourself more lovingly and make you feel a little better about yourself.
3) Realistically Evaluate the Relationship
This might be very painful to do, but after you have gone through the process of thinking about and weighing your relationship you will likely come out of the other end stronger and with a sense of closure. There were probably some fundamental issues between you and your ex which put a major dent in your happiness or at least made the relationship wrong for you to be in. By working through these problems you can recapture some of your confidence.
4) Forgive Fully
Holding unto pain or grudges can be detrimental to your self-esteem and your healing. In fact, it binds you to the problem. The anger and pain you are holding unto may be towards yourself or towards your ex, or maybe even both. This is not unusual, but forgiving is essential to regaining happiness. Remember that it is okay to hurt, mourn, and even be angry–but get to the point where you can let go and move forward.
5) Be Compassionate Towards Yourself
Too often we give others the understanding, comfort, and compassion that we do not give to even ourselves. You have likely comforted a friend after a difficult breakup–been a shoulder to cry on and told them they deserved better and would find happiness again. Be that friend to yourself, love yourself, and take your own advice. If you need professional help go for it. This is rarely easy but you will find that this can make a very important difference in your self esteem.