5 Steps to Help You Avoid the Friend Zone
Everyone knows what the friend zone is, and most people have been there at one time or another. It is easy to get sucked into being friends when you actually want more, and it is also incredibly difficult to escape the friend zone. It is an unfortunate fact that many people fall victim to the friend zone and even fall in love there without ever making any romantic headway.
Has anyone ever put you in the friend zone before? If so, you know how frustrating and heartbreaking this type of relationship can be. You may even do just about everything as if you were in a relationship —talk about everything close to you, text or hang out constantly, and even go on “dates” to the movies or out to dinner. They may even complain or brag about their love interests, and nothing can be more devastating or aggravating. Through all this you know that you want to take things to the next step romantically and emotionally, and you may even express this to your partner on a regular basis or drop obvious hints. This is a very common problem and you are not alone in this experience. The good news is you can take back your power and stay out of the friend zone.
1 ) Be Clear About What You Want From the Beginning
The sooner you can make your feelings and intentions known, the better. After a certain period of time you will find yourself stuck in the friend zone if you haven’t spoken up about your feelings or made a move. Time is very important in this regard, because the longer you establish your roles as friends— and that’s all—the deeper you will find yourself rooted in the friend zone.
This might be particularly difficult for you if you are shy, or the “nice guy/sweet girl” type, but there is nothing wrong with speaking your mind when you are interested in and attracted to someone. Actually, in a big way you are putting off the vibe that your own feelings and interests don’t matter if you don’t tell someone how you feel. There is also the chance that they may not even know you like them in that way if you never express yourself. If the other person isn’t interested in you like that, then you can cut your losses and move on, but you won’t end up in the friend zone waiting for a love connection.
2 ) Don’t Be Subtle
The first step is not to wait or hesitate to tell a person what you want when you meet them. Aside from this, you may find yourself being too subtle in the way that you flirt or communicate with the individual that you like. You may think it is obvious about how you feel, but chances are, if you find yourself in the friend zone, you aren’t being blunt enough.
A lot of people think that having eye contact, a good connection, and smooth communication are all that is necessary to convey interest—but it isn’t. Many people also skip the flirty banter and go straight to more intimate/heavy communication or rapport. These are mistakes. Don’t be afraid to flirt in a light and playful way right from the start, keep things light, casual, and not too serious—but also make it clear that you are seriously attracted to them. If you start off by talking about things on a more emotional level then you bypass the chemistry. There is always the chance that you may get rejected, but that fear of rejection will keep you in the friend zone. Let go of your fears and take risks.
3 ) Casual Physical Contact
Get out of your comfort zone and touch them in playful, lighthearted ways. A simple touch on the shoulder or grazing each other’s hands can be romantic and exciting. Don’t be afraid to touch the other person’s hair, back, hands, shoulders, and ankles. This expresses attraction and confidence, plus, if the other person reciprocates you will know whether or not they also like you. Establishing physical familiarity is an important element in going from platonic to romantic.
Many people find it difficult, awkward, or uncomfortable touching others. With practice, however, you can become more accustomed to giving and receiving casual physical contact. It is possible that the person you like may tell you they don’t like you touching them (in which case they probably aren’t interested in a relationship), or, on the flip side, they may be very affectionate towards all their friends and not pick up the fact that you like them. Taking small touch risks are still worth trying, and people who stay out of the friend zone practice this tactic.
4 ) Don’t be Needy or Overly Available
Nothing can kill attraction like coming off as desperate. Actually, if you want to land a relationship, it is good to play things cool and be slightly distanced. Most people are programmed to want things they can’t have, but if you are too accessible the other person may lose interest. You are easy, comfortable, and attainable. At worse, you may end up looking needy and rushed, and you could even repel the person you like. You don’t have to play games to appear coy and aloof, just look at it this way: It is attractive when a person is emotionally healthy and confident (note that confidence is the opposite of being desperate and needy) in themselves. It is also attractive when a person has their own life, their own interests, friends, and hobbies that they are working on.
5 ) Don’t Be Afraid To Walk Away
If you have exhausted all of your resources and made it completely and utterly clear to the other person that you like them, and they still haven’t reciprocated, it might be time to accept the facts. For whatever reason he or she may not want to be in a relationship. At this point you need to think about doing what is best for you, and that may mean breaking communication or at least taking the relationship from friends to acquaintances. If your heart is still wrapped up in someone and you know it’s a dead end don’t let it ruin your chances of finding love elsewhere. You certainly deserve to be happy, and with the previous steps in mind you will have better success avoiding the friend zone next time you meet someone.
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